What Lazy Did Next

Its been 11 days, 21 hours and about 27 minutes since I last spoke to Miss G.

Not that it really bothers me.

I'm quite relieved actually. The last 11 days have been quiet, stress free and productive. I've found that when I'm not worrying about Miss G and her sprog I've got more more time to focus on my family.

And Miss G went from bad to worse. She got in with her druggy ex-band member boyfriend, took copious amounts of crap, had a kid and then went a little...erm...skitz.

She kept making up stories. Not just little tales to make herself sound interesting but huge great whoppers that made me worry about her mental health. Like the tale about the doctor telling her she was allergic to children because all children carry microscopic mites and she was allergic to them. wtf? And she hadn't taken anything at the time.

I've always been there for her, through thick and thin, but now I've realised how one sided the friendship has always been and I'm pretty fucking tired of the constant dramatics.

I don't even miss her.

I have good memories from the beginning: Chicken and sweetcorn soup squirting out of her nostrils because i had deliberately made her laugh after she'd taken a mouthful; us grazing the horses by the side of the road while we ate kebabs; her sitting on a shetland and getting bucked off....

...but then the bad ones always follow: the looks she gave my husband when she thought I wasn't looking; her cattiness on the night of the carnival; her encouraging me to buy my current shetland and then slagging me off to people saying she couldn't understand why I'd bought him; her constant playing me off against her boyfriend...and eventually the bad ones outweigh the good.

Goodbye Miss G.

I love this show.

Its televised torture for vegetarians.

I especially love the bit when they rip the head off the carcass. This makes me sound a little psycho, but even I was shocked the first time I saw it. I don't know what i expected them to do with the heads. Obviously, they've got to come off sometime in the process.

But now I just love to watch the people's reactions to it.

And I'm an animal lover with my dogs and cats and horses, but I can cut off the sentimentality when I'm hungry. I could eat a horse. No probs. If it was bred for meat then it wouldn't bother me.

The way i see it is that all hunting animals have eyes at the front, while all veggie animals have eyes at the side. Mine are definately at the front.

That's just how God intended.

I had earmarked today for moving my biggest pony back to Mr Darcy's. The council are due to inspect my field and I know they will tell me off for overstocking it.

I was going to walk him as it's only 2 miles and he's a bugger to load in the trailer. I could ride him but as he tends to pull up lame on tarmac (needs shoes!) I decided the best option was to walk him.

It was drizzling this morning. I thought "That's ok. I'm not made of sugar." and set out, bridle and rope in hand, and got hold of him.

Now, to get out to the road, I've got to walk him across a field of mares.

Did he think "I've got no balls so there's no point in chasing the mares." and walk quietly by me side?

Did he hell!

Did the mares think "He's handsome but can't do the job." and leave us alone?

Nope.

Ten yards into the field and we were surrounded by squealing mares. The biggest, most dominant mare towers over me. The smallest mare is in season and is peeing and winking at him from her nether regions. He's pulling to get away from me. Hooves are flying. Teeth start coming in my direction...

....I'm outta there!

And then the rain starts. Not just ordinary shower but a deluge.

Cock it! I'm going to spend the day on the PC instead.

Just realised he's missing off my friends list.

Has he left?

Has he disappeared?

Did he give up on me during my long absence?

Does anybody know?

The picture's title sounded promising but the content failed to deliver!

I really am turning into a sad old moo.

I'm not drinking, not going out and spending far too much time in the company of children and non-humans...

...so I'm going out with Miss G at the weekend.

Yay!

I'm not even bothered about Mr Darcy anymore.

In fact for the last three or so weeks I have felt quite content with Hubby. Its been nice. I haven't even thought of Mr Darcy at "inapropriate" times.

My mind has been quiet. Almost too quiet. Just concentrating on the kids, husband and geegees.

I've got three ponies at the moment. A quiet crossbreed gelding standing at around 13hh called Fudge. He's an ex trekking pony and was an excellent buy at £250. He's getting on a bit. He's 20 but he's full of life and eager enough to give lessons on.

The next one is a little black Shetland pony called Rocky. He stands at 40.5 inches. He's had a bad past, and although you can tack him up and ride him well, obviously not me), he's still very nervous of people and doesn't like being touched or caught. I'm working on his confidence.

The third is a pretty grey Welsh mountain pony called Beau. He's just a baby. Not even 2. When he came to me he hadn't been handled much but he's coming ona treat now. I even managed to get a rug on him last week. And a bridle!

The plan is to give lessons to the local kids on them. I've had so much interest, and I'm already using Fudge but its not really going to take off until April when I (hopefully) get another, bigger field. I'm charging £5 for half hour, which undercuts my previous employer by 50%.

I'm not insured though. That's the difference. I'm not insured or fully qualified. I'm getting parents to sign a consent form stating that everything is done within the safety guidelines of the BHS but is undertaken at own risk. I've still got to get it checked out by a solicitor, which I will do at some point soon, just to check nobody can sue me if the fall off.

I'm hoping to catch the kids who's parents have been caught up in the current financial climate, who want their kids to continue riding but can't afford to go elsewhere.

Meanwhile, its paying for the upkeep of the ponies and for my exams so I can get the qualifications to become a bonafide instructor.

Everybody thinks its a good idea except my Dad but he hates my horsiness. He thinks they're a painful, expensive waste of time.

But I love them.

Does that appeal to anyone else?

Alan Shearer gyrating in a pair of boxers in front of the camera?

Anyone?

Just me then.

...you fat old hag!!

Yep. I've done it.

I announced to the school that i was removing my kids from the school at the end of the week. They are going to the skanky kids school, which turned out to be not as skanky as i first thought. They even have an after school bible club, which I've enrolled my lot on despite their groans of protest. A bit of religion is good for kids. It gives them something to rebel against when they're older.

The headmistress looked a little shaken when i anounced my kids' departure. The school only has 40 kids in it. The removal of my 3 leaves quite a dent.

The headmistress is lovely. If it wasn't for Mrs Jones I'd have kept them there just to keep the headmistress's job secure.

Now all that remains is for the new school to find provisions for son no 2's special needs.

I'm feeling so happy and optimistic. The kids seem happy wit the move too.

I had a bloody rotten Christmas.

We were all ill. The days leading up to Christmas me and the kids were ill. Some horrible tummy bug that makes you windy and burpy and sick.

On Christmas day, however, we were all well.

But it attacked hubby with a vengence the day after boxing day and he is still suffering bouts of it now.

And then son no.1 was spewed up 20 minutes into the New Year. He woke up suddenly and it was like that scene from The Exorcist, minus the twisty head and crucifix.

Happy New Year!!

I've had it with that bloody school.

The primary school my kids go to.

I moaned about it last year but now they've really upset me.

Firstly, its a village school. I'm not a villager therefore I'm not in the same social group as the other mums. This normally leads to me standing at the gates on my own with noone to talk to.

Its definately not me. I'm friendly and chatty by nature and smile at any mum that makes eye contact with me. But they just don't like me. The ones in wellies are a little more friendly than their snobby rich ones but they still prefer their own kind.

Of course it didn't help me shagging Mr Darcy who has managed to fall out with every one at some point.

And because they don't particularly like me they don't invite my kids to tea or to their parties, or come to mine when they're invited. In fact I arranged a halloween party this year and invited five village kids and a niece, and only my niece showed up. The others didn't even let me know they weren't coming. My kids were so disappointed.

As for the school itself, there's a Mrs Jones. I can't even be bothered to make up an alias for the woman because i despise her so much.

She goes to people who have just moved into the nearby villages and tells them that their school is better than their local school, and deprives the other village schools of much needed pupils.

There is a lot of bullying in the school too. Mostly by Local Kid W, who's dad is a cage fighter and lets his son watch the videos of his fights. The kid is a complete delinquent and last year battered a kid so badly that he ruptured the kid's kidney. How did the school react? They swept it under the carpet and tried to hide it. Did the boy get expelled? Of course not. His mother is related to the governor.

That was enough to make a few non-villager parents take their kids out of the school, but I perservered as my sister is also my youngest son's one-to-one special needs teacher. Without him she has no job. (She also has problems with her kids not being invited to parties etc even though she lives in the village and works in the school).

But what happened 2 days ago has made me pull my kids from the school.

We owe the school money. Its not a huge amount but significant. The headteacher knows that I'm in the process of sorting our debts out with the CAB and has no problem waiting.

The daughter of my husband's employer is working in the school as work experience. Mrs jones told her about the debt and not only got her to text her dad saying that Hubby owes money :but to got her to go to the site where they are working and demand the cash. HIS EMPLOYER'S DAUGHTER!!:::

How embarrasing is that? You know, debt isn't something you really want to shout from the rooftops. The only reason I'm writing about it on here is because I'm so bloody angry.

My kids go to that school. Its not as if I'm not going to pay. Its just that it's Christmas, I've got 4 kids to buy presents for(and they don't even get expensive presents. Their big presents this year (they get one big present and about 5 or 6 other things each) are a bike (£35), a skateboard (£35), a second hand playstation 2 for the youngest son (£35) and a portable DVD player (£58) for the daughter who is impossible to please.), 3 ponies to feed and a mountain of debts to pay off.

Some would say get rid of the ponies but soon those ponies are slowly becoming a lucrative source of income - so ner!

There's also a whole catalogue of other reasons why I don't like the school, and in particular, Mrs Jones. Including the fact that Ladbrokes are refusing to put odds on her winning the big raffle prize every year. Every raffle every year she scoops the big prize. I don't even buy tickets any more. I just exchange bemused glances with my mother and sister when Mrs Jones wins once again!

And her son and daughter are spoilt little shits. There should be some rule saying that children shouldn't be able to attend the same schools that their parents work in. Her daughter was the root cause of the bullying of my eldest two years ago before she left to go to secondary. Of course i complained but nothing was done. How I hoped and prayed she'd have the crap beaten out of her at the big school.

She never did though

So my kids will not be going back next term. I'm not sure which school they will be going to yet. The closest one is full of skanky kids, and the next closest one only teaches in Welsh.

Hubby has applied for a farming job in Cheshire. It comes with a 3 bedroom house and is near a village. Another village school but Mrs Jones won't be there.lus I can still set up my riding lessons there.

My sister will lose her job but i can't keep sending my kids to THAT school just for her sake. I'm tired of the politics involved in keeping my family happy. There comes a time when you've just got to do what's best for your own children and husband.

And what isn't best for them is atending a school that is biased towards the English, does nothing about bullying, that fixes raffles and allows a teacher to humiliate and bully parents.

I once campaigned to save that school from closure, now I hope it closes for good.